23 frustrante cosas Lesbianas Filipinas están cansados de audiencia
You’re just scared I’ll steal your girl.
1. “Are you sure?”
How you want to respond: I’ve been in a 10-year relationship with a girl and we’re thinking of getting married but yeah, maybe this is just a phase.
2. “So gusto mo maging lalaki?” (So you want to be a man?)
How you want to respond: News flash: I don’t have to be a man to love a woman.
3. “If you’ve only had lesbian sex, is it counted as real sex?”
How you want to respond: Well, if you count five orgasms in one night real, then yeah. sure.
4. “A vagina is only for a penis.”
How you want to respond: Tita, don’t tell me you’ve never heard of oral before.
5. “Eh sino’ng lalaki sa inyo?” (But who’s the man in the relationship?)
How you want to respond: We’re both girls. Because again, I like girls. That’s kind of the point in identifying as a lesbian.
6. “Hindi mo pa nahahanap yung lalaki na para sa’yo.” (You just haven’t found the right man yet.)
How you want to respond: I’m not looking for a man, nga!
7. “Sinaktan ka siguro ng lalaki before.” (You must have been hurt by a man before.)
How you want to respond: No, I didn’t become a lesbian because I was hurt by a man before. Liking women doesn’t have anything to do with men at all.
8. “Matakot ka nga sa Diyos.” (Be afraid of God!)
How you want to respond: Hay nako, Ma.
9. “Yan ba ang natutunan mo sa all-girls school?” (Is that what they teach you at that all-girls school?)
How you want to respond: We had strict math teachers and they didn’t have time to teach us how to be a lesbian. We were too busy acing our exams.
10. “You’re too pretty to be gay.”
How you want to respond: You’re just scared I’ll steal your girl.
11. “If you’re a lesbian, why are you wearing a skirt?”
How you want to respond: Because my clothes don’t define my sexual orientation, I do.
12. “If you’re dating a girl who looks like a boy, bakit hindi na lang lalaki?”
How you want to respond: My girlfriend can wear whatever she wants and be whoever she wants. Sorry not sorry that makes you feel weird.
13. “You’ll grow out of it, eventually.”
How you want to respond: Yeah, the rest of my life is just a phase. I’ll let you know when I start growing wings or something.
14. “Why do you hate men?”
How you want to respond: I mean, I can love men. I just don’t LAAAAAAB them, di ba?
15. “How do lesbians have sex?”
How you want to respond: Quite often, actually.
16. “Do you have sex toys?”
How you want to respond: To each their own; personally, I do just fine without.
17. “P’wede sumali?” (Can I join?)
How you want to respond: Can my girlfriend who’s trained in Krav Maga kick your ass?
18. “P’wede manood?” (Can I watch?)
How you want to respond: Again, dude – KRAV MAGA. Look it up.
19. “How are you gonna raise a family? Children need a mom and a dad.”
How you want to respond: Tell that to the single mom who’s been raising her kids since their father died.
20. “Do you know [insert name of random lesbian]?”
How you want to respond: My life isn’t The L Word, you know.
21. “Are you a fan of Charice? Tegan and Sara? Deuce Manila?”
How you want to respond: Just because I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean I’m automatically a fan of lesbian artists. (Pero yoooooo, Tegan and Sara though.)
22. “Why do you find Tom Hiddleston attractive if you’re a lesbian?”
How you want to respond: I mean, I have eyes too.